COMING SOON [speakers blow out] TO OWN ON DVD [children scramble for the remote] AND VIDEO CASSETTE [atomic bomb explodes in living room]
so there’s a hole in our gate or something so all of our dogs got out and some nice lady called and said they were in her yard and so i went to the house and two of the dogs came to me when i called them
but my sister’s dog is a beagle and so he caught a scent and WOULD NOT come to me and i had to climb up a hill and into the woods and carry that damn 30 pound dog out of the woods
The great-great-great grandchildren of Dickens take a selfie with him on his 202nd birthday.
"Mental health day?"
More like “crippling anxiety day.”
i don’t know if this is a question or a statement so, uh
yes, i had heart surgery? ok
Ben Harper - Steal My Kisses